EPILOGUE

I am back in the States, obviously, and I'm doing great.

I forgot how to be American or something for awhile. I remember standing in O'Hare looking strangely at the unfamiliar American money in my hand. I remember hearing English everywhere and seeing English written everywhere. It was all new at first. While I was waiting to fly back to Buffalo, I heard a girl talking on the phone in Chinese and I got SO EXCITED because I understood her! I started talking to her in Chinese and she was baffled at first and then couldn't believe it. We had a great chat until she boarded her plane. I miss the language so much now. I never thought I'd miss that so much. I miss learning and using and practicing Chinese. I miss China. There, I said it.

I've resumed my American life (sans health insurance) and I'm back at Wal-mart as a cashier again for the summer. There's nothing more American than Wal-mart and I tell you, it makes me miss China. I miss the crazy dirty hot sticky crowded inefficient mess that is Beijing. I love Beijing. I feel like I left a piece of me behind there. When people buy Coke products I always smile because currently they all bear the Beijing Olympics symbol, and I think about how I used to see that little symbol on damn near EVERYTHING in China.

I went to see Kung Fu Panda with Jake today. It was my desperate attempt to get some China. I miss my China. I liked Kung Fu Panda because clearly some of the people on the production team have a thorough knowledge of the language and culture, and it showed subtly. Some of the names of the characters were supposed to be funny, I think, in Chinese. I know I chuckled. I also saw the kid's TV show "Ni Hao, Kai-Lan" on Noggin this morning and my first thought was "WOW that cartoon has perfect tones." I am a nerd, but I was super happy to hear Chinese, even if it was simple phrases on a kid's show.

Coming back has made me reflect on my experience, and while China made me appreciate my life in America a lot more, I still adore the everyday adventures and mishaps that accompany life abroad. Life here is boring and mundane and slow. Every day is the same and everybody is the same now. I miss Beijing, plain and simple, and I could talk forever about my trip to China and never get tired, but I find myself trying to keep my mouth shut about it because I know I'm the only one who knows or cares what I'm talking about. I love China and I want to talk about it ALL the time, but that's nuts, right? Haha, I knew this would happen, but still, it's great to have been there and done that.

I am different now in a way I can't express, but I know that I relate to people differently now. It's like the world has become split into two categories: those who have lived in China and those who haven't. I get so excited when I meet ANYBODY who's been to any part of China. I'm a groupie. Ha ha, I just feel the connection with other people who share that uniquely dirty and wonderful experience of life in China. I will never get over China. NEVER. My heart is there now and forever - it was my first and greatest adventure and let there be no doubt that I will return again. I couldn't possibly stay away now...