China-induced Stress

Sorry I haven't written as of late, but Chinese has become so demanding! The grammar is getting more and more difficult, and I can't even remember all of the characters we've learned anymore, I mix them all up and create my own hybrids... not good on tests. Furthermore, I have a 3 major papers due, one of which is giving me much stress.
My research adviser has been putting a lot of pressure on us for these research papers and the trouble is I can only do so much research here because I CAN'T SPEAK CHINESE. He is being completely unfair in his demands because I have done all I can, read all I can in English. My go-to person, a researcher from Belgium, has been more than helpful, and she speaks Chinese fluently. She has done all the work, in terms of visiting the various superficial places in Beijing that really do little for the parents of autistic children. The people at these places are very unfriendly to foreigners, and of course they don't speak English. Truth be told, they don't do anything real to help the situation, unlike Xingxingyu, which I have visited several times and I know a great deal about. Nothing is ever good enough though, I guess. I am sorry to whine, but it's so frustrating - I've worked so hard and yet I find myself stuck because of the ever-present language barrier. This only compounds my frustration with the Chinese language.

In other news related to my stress. I am worried about money as of late. I have spent so much here on medical expenses because I seem to be a magnet for various China-induced infections and illnesses. Secondly, last weekend some lady took my MP3 player out of my backpack while I was walking. In China it's typical to have many people walking closely to you because it's so crowded, especially on a nice Friday night, so I thought nothing of the lady who was walking very closely behind me. However, later I discovered my backpack open, and my player gone. Now, I must confess I NEED my MP3 player to maintain sanity these days. So I had to buy a new one, because I knew that I could not afford to buy a new one once I return to America. Everyone around me seems to be so cruel these days and I like to block it out with my music. The people I always ended up surrounded by are the ones I would most like to escape from. I don't care if certain people here don't like me - it's mutual, and to be honest, the kinds of people that don't like me are the kind that I don't really want liking me here. Many of my classmates are very privileged and arrogant, selfish and uncaring. I cannot relate to these people who have never suffered, never wanted, never gone without. They judge me because I am different. They make fun of me because I don't party, I am a bleeding-heart for children, and I am a champion for autism. HA HA, that's SO FUNNY, right? They think I'm weird because all of my close friends here are Chinese and I prefer to hang out with them. (Isn't that the point of the study abroad experience??) I am very opinionated, yes, and I know that sometimes I can't keep it to myself, but I only have such strong convictions because of how much I care about people and justice. I don't care if some people here don't like me, but I won't shut up and I won't stop caring about my brother and autism. NEVER. I am passionate about my research and I am a very hard worker. My mother raised me to be independent and passionate and hard-working, and I guess we're a dying breed. Nobody knows what I have been through to get to this point in my life, and NOBODY can make me feel bad about what I have accomplished. They are here because mommy and daddy are paying for college and for their extravagant lifestyles here, but I am here because I had a dream - to go to college, and I worked my butt off to get here. I have full tuition and I earned a Gilman to study abroad. No mean comments and gossip from people completely ignorant of my struggle and my perseverance can take this away from me. I am here because I DID IT. Nobody else. I study autism so fervently because somebody needs to pay attention. My brother answered every question I could ever ask about life, and now I'm trying to get some answers for him... if that's silly then I am guilty as charged. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
I am very stressed and I want to come home now. I miss the people who really care about me and understand who I am and why I do what I do. To all of you, thank you for your love and support and faith in me. I will not let my cruel classmates deter me from my dreams. Lord knows I've encountered worse in my life...